he would create proudly out of the freedom and power of his soul... a living thing, new and soaring and beautiful, impalpable, imperishable.
- james joyce.
ok ok. i know. i've been negligent. i'm sorry. i'm trying to get my life in order. a big move is coming. yes, i'm finally going to do it. i'm going to the city. yes THAT city. new york, new york. the city that is so cool it has the same name as a state. it basically IS the state. i mean come on, when you ask someone from anywhere else in new york "where are you from?" they always answer "buffalo" or "albany" or "long island." but if you're from manhattan or another borough you always get the same answer "new york." well, unless you are talking to someone who is proud of living in brooklyn or queens or the bronx... but anyway, you get my point.
i've been spending a lot of time in new york lately. i've been doing the long distance thing, traveling back and forth every other weekend or so. it's been good, being able to not only consistently get out of philly and see my friends who live elsewhere (in addition to spending time with the person i love), but to also acclimate myself to my soon to be new home.
this past weekend i attended a screening of "here and there" at the tribeca film festival. i would highly recommend it, it is a charming love story (kind of) and snapshot into a random group of people's lives. the film also compares cultures and tradition, subtly discusses the importance of family, and intricately examines people's desires and motivations. following the film, the director answered questions about his own artwork and his personal motivations in directing and writing such a film. it was interesting to hear the creative mastermind of the work explain his intentions. perhaps as interesting were people's interactions with the director. he was automatically viewed as an authority on filmmaking, his own film, and anything having to do with the film's subject matter. it's intriguing, i think, that artists are considered the experts on their craft. that point of view has always made me uncomfortable as a designer simply because i don't think i'm an expert - i'm just someone who has tried to express herself creatively and contribute to a greater work.
maybe this whole idea of authority on artistry is part of becoming a better and more established artist. but i would also like to think that it's not possible to master one's craft. artistic creation is about expression, and it is so rare that we wish to express ourselves in the same way over and over again. maybe an artistic expert is one who takes learning seriously and tries to masters smaller skills of expression. either way, i look forward to the future where i'll be able to live in new york and encounter more and more artists (and experts).
yesterday was a beautiful day. sunny, 75, basically perfect. i spent the day outside reading and watching people in rittenhouse square. so many babies and puppies! i found myself happier about life and about the world in general during this "me time" and i started to think, the weather really does impact the way a person feels.
this, of course, isn't new information. a study five years ago said that spending time in nice weather can work towards "improving mood, memory and broadening cognitive style " (for the complete article go here). i think we aren't built to spend our days indoors, looking at concrete and fluorescent lights. one of the hardest things about being in tech for a show is not seeing the sun. during long days, you enter the theatre just a few hours into the day and you leave well after the sun has set. it messes up your internal clock, you forget what day it is, and generally you just feel tired and less happy.
that's why it's so important for us to spend time outside. breathing fresh air and getting sunlight doesn't just improve mood but it also reminds you that there, to quote avenue q, is life outside your apartment. what's more, it connects you to the greater world. there are people around you when you are outside who, while living their own lives, interact with you through their eyes, their smiles, their laughs. it's pretty cool to be a part of this larger society. so next time it is nice and sunny outside, go for a walk or take that work and sit on a bench. it'll be one of the best things you can do for yourself.
i have a confession to make. i don't really like shakespeare. this has been a difficult truth in my life, because not only do i "do theatre" as a profession, but i also was an english major in college and have always felt like i should appreciate the bard better. but for some reason, i never did. i felt alienated from his plays by his language, and was so distracted by the fact that he "borrowed" all his material that i never really appreciated the plays for what they were. this has been a difficulty in my line of work/ study but i've borne it so far and i've done alright with it.
then something happened. last weekend i saw hamlet at the lantern. this production stars the ingenious geoff sobelle as hamlet and really blew me away. in my new attempt to appreciate acting more and focus on tech less, i went into the show promising to pay attention to the story and the play and not the production value (which, by the way, was fantastic). geoff made this easy. as a physical actor, geoff is the best i've ever seen. his body motions are like the flow of water - natural, fluid, and unpredictable but always smooth. and the way he delivered his shakespeare was really unlike anything i've ever experienced. i FORGOT that i was watching shakespeare when geoff delivered his monologues. the words rolled off his tongue in the most conversational and natural way. this renaissance play that i never really felt connected to became a work that i could relate to. and it was mostly because of geoff's acting.
i wonder if a lot of people feel the way that i do about shakespeare - that it is old, alien, and kind of boring. his story lines are all very similar (just read the compleat works of wllm shkspr (abridged) and you'll see what i mean - they compress all his comedies into one story) and his tragedies almost predictably end with disastrous death. but perhaps all that i needed (and what others who may question the bard's authority on theatre need) was for someone to breathe some fresh air into a 400 year old play. i think this is one of the most important aspects of performance art - it really brings old works to life in a way that makes them understandable and personally important. this may seem like an unimportant task when people are faced with a massive recession, home foreclosures, and unemployment but i think it's crucial to be reminded of the past and how people have worked through difficult times. more importantly, arts are an escape from our own lives. shakespeare might not be what i would use to escape reality, but it is what a lot of other people use. and quality productions of theatre that transport you to a different place and a different time where you can ponder issues others than what might be confronting you right now are invaluable.
all this is to say, i feel a little ashamed that in ever really appreciated shakespeare. but now that i've seen such an incredible performance of hamlet, i get what the fuss is about. and hey, maybe this means that i'll finally appreciate that yale book award i won in high school (which just happened to be the complete works of william shakespeare).
last weekend i was in new york and i happened to see christopherdurang's new piece why torture is wrong and the people who love them. don't ask me about the title, it still doesn't make sense after seeing the show. while the show itself left me feeling a little lackluster (the story felt a bit spotty but the set was really cool... i mean it SPUN which is always awesome), i left the theatre feeling pretty good. why is that? well i was standing in the lobby minding my own business when philipseymourhoffman walks in.
i'm not the kind of person who usually gets starstruck but i was agog. philipseymourhoffman was standing 10 feet away from me! i could have done like 3 lunges and walked into him (yes, i'm working on doing lunges now at physical therapy)! sure, i haven't seen a lot of his work but he is generally considered one of the best character actors of our time.
i was confused... why was i so speechless when i saw him? i'm not even his "biggest fan" or what people generally say when they meet a celebrity who they are dying to speak to. i think it's because i have a lot of respect for his since he takes his craft seriously. mr. hoffman is a fantastic actor who really engages in his roles and takes on difficult characters. any man who can play trumancapote convincingly and then a priest of questionable morals as convincingly deserves some credit. i think quality acting is often taken for granted. i am as guilty of this as the next person, especially because i usually see theatre and dissect the production aspects. the number of times when i question a lighting shift, a sound cue, or a technical decision are innumerable. but how often do i actually consider the potency of good acting? probably not enough.
you see, i recently saw gypsy on broadway (twice). and while i was watching it i was so amazed by the orchestra and their awesome disappearing act and the beautiful orchestrations and sound design that i missed part of the show. i was lucky enough to see it a second time and realize something. the big 3 (pattilupone, boydgaines, and laurabenanti) are fantastic actors. ms. lupone got all the credit but ms. benanti was phenomenal. i remember speaking about the show afterwards and thinking that she couldn't have been that good because her character wasn't memorable. but then her character isn't SUPPOSED to be memorable! she is supposed to be the forgotten sister who emerges out of nowhere to become a world-famous stripper. and someone of ms. benanti's acting caliber and repute must work really hard to be unnoticed for the vast majority of the show.
maybe this is a long-standing problem of techies. we focus so much on the production aspects of the show that we forget to applaud the actors. we are the forgotten few, the people behind the scenes who make things happen and many people don't quite even know what to attribute to whom. but there is really no substitute for good acting. so do yourself a favor, techies, forget the set and the costume and the lights and the sound sometimes and enjoy the show. because without a good actor, really you got nothing.
p.s. another perk of why torture is wrong... laurabenanti is in it!
the past 10 weeks of my life have been occupied with physical health. about 10 weeks ago, i had acl repair on my right knee and since then i've been trying desperately to be back in shape. you see, after not playing competitive soccer for 5 years, i decided to join a league in philly and during my first indoor soccer game in 7 years i tore my acl. it stunk. really. i heard the pop and felt my leg give out from under me and all i could think was "really? after all these years something THIS stupid happens?"
well, needless to say i've since had surgery and have been on the road to recovery. it's been slow and painful but theoretically i will be able to start running again in 4 weeks. i think that the reason this recovery has been so slow is because i feel incapacitated as a person. i'm one of those people who likes doing things for herself, who doesn't want others to help with simple things. i suppose, then, in a way surgery has been a humbling experience. it's reminded me that everyone needs a little help sometimes and that's ok.
i mentioned in my previous post how as a sound designer i often seek the help of others (and thanks RB for the shout out in her article. findingdulcinea.com is a great source and hey, it quotes yours truly!). but for some reason, it doesn't come naturally for me to seek help when it comes to physicality. i think it's because i've always depended on myself to be able to do physical tasks, be it running, carrying a fellow soccer player down the field during sprints (yes, we had to do that in high school), or ripping apart platforms with my bare hands. i've prided myself on my small size yet surprising strength and for once in my life i wasn't able to get out of bed to use the bathroom by myself. how degrading! but really, it wasn't. it was just a wake-up call to appreciate the body we've got and to be thankful for all its working parts.
now that i basically have the part-time job of going to physical therapy, i truly appreciate the beauty that is my knee. it bends, it supports weight, it allows me to turn really fast. although i have vowed never to play soccer again (the injury is just too much to think about coming back from... but who knows, i've been playing soccer on and off for almost 20 years it might be hard to quit), i know that after my recovery from surgery is complete i will not take the workings of my body for granted. it's a pretty amazing thing, a working body, and we better appreciate it while we still have one in good shape.
as i've mentioned before, sound design is my forte when it comes to theatrical productions. i find it to be such an expressive medium, especially because created sound is such an integral part of any show. the problem with this chosen occupation, however, is that you are constantly living the life of a freelancer. bouncing from gig to gig can get really tiring and frustrating and trying to make enough for rent and food is always stressful. this has been true over the past few years, but is more true these days with the recession.
the first thing (or among the first things... besides banks of course) to go in a recession are the arts. when disposable income decreases, people stop donating money to the "entertainment" industry. of course, i don't view the arts as disposable or simply for entertainment. theatre, for example, is one of the most poignant ways to examine culture and discuss difficult issues. but in this time of economic crisis, gigs are harder to come by and theatre companies are constantly downsizing.
a perfect example of this is a show i am currently designing for the summer. because of decreased support from individuals and grant-giving organizations, budgets are much smaller than normal. i, like other designers, am expected to create a design with the appropriate equipment for a full-scale musical on a budget that might be enough to rent the cabling alone necessary for such a big project. but theatre is a community based endeavor. luckily, i have good resources and friendly colleagues who are willing to spend hours on the phone (or in person) with me discussing possible options for making my design work. they give me practical advice and offer me assistant positions that build up my repetoire (and resume) as a designer. i have never considered myself particularly good at networking, but in the current economic climate, when arts are constantly in danger of being sacrificed, it is necessary to band togetheer with other artists to save your craft. these more experienced, better-connected designers and colleagues are what makes it possible for younger artists like me to make an impact and to show off my talents. they open the door for opportunities while simultaeously providing valuable support and endless encouragement.
it is impossible to be an artist without a community, and these people truly make my position in the theatre community one that i am honored to hold. without their help i seriously doubt that i'd be able to continue existing as a sound designer. their endless advice and encouraging wisdom make theatre an exciting place to be.
today i went passover shopping. it's a little bit early, but i've always been the kind of person who constantly reminds herself to go get the matzah and then realizes the day before passover that all i have in my apartment is pasta. so i did it early year. and man, was it a success. i am stocked up! i have enough matzah and macaroons to last me and some visitors at least the 8 days i am required to change my entire diet.
although i rarely admit it, i think of the passover diet as kind of an imposition. first, i can't eat bread. considering that my diet usually is comprised of sandwiches, pita and hummus, or bagels, this is a big problem. then, i have to clean my entire kitchen which is also a hassle. the random mouse traps that have been set up for a defense system need to be removed, the various cooking implements spattering my counter top need to be removed, and all the crumbs need to picked up (no, i never got that vacuum cleaner in my hallway to work).
however, i tough it through these sacrifices and usually find myself immersed in the "spirit of passover" within a few short days. i'm not sure quite how to describe what this actually means, but i'll attempt it. see, to me, passover is about recognizing the importance of tradition. it's about looking to the past while simultaneously anticipating the future and realizing that one's life is not in isolation. instead, it is a part of a long-standing tradition. and future generations will maintain those traditions and their belief that they can better the world. we all make sacrifices to maintain traditions, be they as small as supporting a sports team because all of your family went to a specific institution or not eating pasta because over 2000 years ago a group of people supposedly survived living in the desert. we expect that past generations made similar sacrifices and we hope to pass on the traditions so that future generations do the same.
i find that it is truly remarkable that some traditions can exist for so long. images and accounts remain of seders all throughout time, from jesus's last supper to hidden seders during the holocaust. in this world of isolation, where everyone is concerned with supporting themselves, i think it's important to cling to these traditions and remember that we are part of something greater. this is the message of passover to me, a message of continuity and companionship, history and familial ties. it's a message that makes all the sacrifices worthwhile and ultimately helps giving meaning to my own life. and i think there is a specific sort of beauty in relating to a group of people who are all hoping for the same thing: a world without prejudice, a world that celebrates humanity, and a world where hunger does not exist. so to everyone who is preparing for passover, chag sameach and enjoy the matzah. to everyone else, i hope you are finding meaningful traditions and connections that help you define your own life.
sometimes it's nice to be reminded that there is something bigger than oneself. i think it's easy when searching for a "greater meaning" to look to fabricated things, like books or art or songs. and then something happens and reminds you that all these things may be as wonderful and beautiful as you think, but they pale in comparison to the forces of nature.
you see, last night i was sitting in my apartment doing some reading. and all of a sudden i heard a gigantic rumble, the sky turned orange, and i thought the tree outside my window was falling into my apartment. i looked at the street and noticed ping-pong ball sized hail dropping from the sky. it was incredible, albeit seeming slightly apocalyptic. and quite humbling. the weather was ridiculous and overwhelming and frightening. but it was nice to be reminded that you can't always plan for everything and, perhaps more importantly, sometimes the most powerful things can be just outside your window and beyond your realm of control.
yesterday i saw scorched at the wilma theater. while i could spend this entire post raving about the show, i am only going to say this: i am thrilled that i got to see it before it closed. this show was a powerful, moving, intellectual work about the horrors of war and the importance of love and promises. one central theme of the show was the importance of education: the mother (nawal) whose death is announced in the first scene of the play makes a promise to her dying grandmother to learn to read, write, and speak. this importance of education and knowledge is prevalent throughout the play and really made me consider the importance of education in my own life.
i've always attended very good schools and as a result, education is something i truly care about. even now, as i'm considering options for graduate school, i return to a deeper desire to learn and speak about academic and "intellectual" things. i've always enjoyed school and class and learning about things which might otherwise seem foreign. this passion for knowledge took me along many roads, and even impacted my course of study as an undergraduate. but in the end, i find that the importance of education has really been a driving force in my life.
this is not to say that education has been the vanguard for me that it was for nawal. nawal comes from a small middle-eastern village where no one is able to read or write and where being learned in these things instantly makes you a bit of a legend. but nawal understands the importance of knowledge and embarks on a quest to learn. her abilities to speak keep her alive and make her that much more of a powerful foe amidst all the violence surrounding her. this ability to speak, i think, is often underrated in modern society. it is expected that we are all educated either privately or by the national school system, that we learn how to have coherent thoughts and speak them cogently. but this is clearly not the case. our education system is failing terribly, something i've seen first-hand. many students come out of high school without the ability to read on grade level, without the ability to add negative numbers much less solve multivariable equations, without the confidence to speak vehemently and argue rationally. sculpting the minds of our children should be a priority we do not take lightly, but it is often overlooked by lawmakers and benefactors. corporations contribute billions of dollars to rebuild professional sports stadiums, but that money could fund a city's school system for years. why not shift this financial support and start educating our children the way they deserve?
the ability to read, write, and speak should not be considered lightly. people risk their lives in third world countries to go to school, just look at the recent attacks in afghanistan. i, for one, am in awe of these women who continue pursuing education regardless of their immediate danger. they recognize how important education can be in progressive societies and in making significant changes in the world at large. nawal is just one example of this, a woman whose determination to education herself defines her life. we should all be so mindful of the gifts we are given: the ability to read, to write, and to speak.
as i was riding home today, "sound of your voice" by barenaked ladies came on my ipod. i started bopping my head along, trying not to mouth out the lyrics so that people wouldn't watch me too closely. and then it happened. this intense wave of emotion. i felt an eerie feeling of familiarity in my stomach and was transplanted to 2006, when this song first came out. i remember first hearing this song and being a little iffy about it - there was a definite country twang to it that put me off. but after i listened to the song a couple more times, the lyrics overpowered the slightly disturbing twang and i embraced the song.
you see, i've always been a lyrics person. i can listen to songs and usually pick up lyrics after hearing something the second or third time around. i can (mostly accurately) predict song lyrics and am good at deconstructing songs when the lyrics are unclear. this has been particularly useful in sound design, as i often pick songs based not only on feeling but on deeper lyrical value. i think a songwriter is a brilliant person, someone who can create music but also can write poetry that fits within a rhythm and makes sense in a specific beat per minute set-up. it's a skill that i've always been incredibly envious of.
this has meant that i've had a long-standing love of music, especially songwriters who i think are really smart and beautiful. paul simon, for example, is one of my favorite artists because he seems to never run out of amazing material for songs. only recently i came across this list of songs that he's written and it is staggering. another personal favorite is barenaked ladies. i've always appreciated this group's funny, quick, and caustic lyrics - "you could hid out under there/ i just made you say underwear."
this brings me to bnl's "sound of your voice." you see, this song came to represent a lost love for me. it came out when i was in the middle of a breakup and couldn't have been more apt. it opens:
the moon is full by there is an incompleteness
the days are beautiful but i feel a bitter sweetness
if i had a wish or even a choice
i'd wake up to the sound of your voice
how i miss waking up to the sound of your voice
wow. does that hit the breakup vein or what? who of us have not felt some inexplicable emptiness after a breakup? that annoyance that you used to get from the person next to you groaning about waking up is definitely among the first thing you miss when it's gone. bnl, i don't know how you did it but i remember hearing this song and being like yes. man. they totally know what i'm going through. and no, it doesn't stop there...
i let you down and fell off of your good list
i hope each day you'll find peace and forgiveness
the alarm clock rings, what a lonely noise
and i long for the sound of your voice
oh how i miss waking up to the sound of your voice
every time i hear it, i still tear up a little. this song just completely represented this feeling of loss i had. how did bnl know i hurt the person i missed? the alarm clock is such a lonely noise, but i had never thought of it like that before this song. and i really did long for the sound of my significant other's voice, but alas that person was across an ocean.
the last verse of this song is really what did it for me, though.
this thing goes there will be other dances (don't give up)
this little song is about second chances
just say the word and i will rejoice
and wake up to the sound of your voice
some relationships really do end and that's that. but i knew deep down that this relationship shouldn't end, some pieces just weren't really in their proper place. and now that we're back together, the song reminds me of the importance of yearning and loss, but then the happiness of regaining what you once took for granted.
so there you go. there are a few more repeats of the chorus at the end of this song, but for me it's all about the verses. the words are so simple, but they really clarified the jumble of emotions i felt in the fall of 2006. i think that is what a really good song does, it speaks to you in a way that nothing else can. the rhythm and instrumentation really brings you in. and then the lyrics envelop you in a wave of emotion that just seems so perfect for your mood. music is all around us, we best learn how to appreciate it.
as i mentioned in a previous post, i am currently running sound for a student-run production at my alma mater. my former classmates (and their younger counterparts) are performing the mikado, one of the earliest and perhaps most operatic of the gilbert and sullivan repertoire. i was always reluctant to partake in this group's activities while an undergrad because, as a company of performers, the technical aspects of a show (which is where i can actually contribute) were always overlooked. because of this, it is interesting now to be involved in a production with this company without actually being a part of the group.
anyway, as i said they are performing the mikado. obvious racism and inappropriateness aside, the music for this show is actually pretty brilliant. during the first run through of the show, i was amazed at how many musical numbers were familiar melodies or had well-known lyrics. gilbert and sullivan must have known their stuff. more than that, however, i was struck with how much i actually enjoyed the operatic nature of the piece.
you see, i listened to a lot of opera when i was a young child. my mom loved it so she used to pump it through our house when she was cleaning. or in the car when she was driving. or anywhere when she was generally trying to get my sister and me to shut up. but it never worked, because my sis, father, and i devised this strategy that would always result in the opera being turned off. my mom would put on something beautiful, like bizet's carmen, and just when the performer would begin singing, my cohort would begin screeching along with the music. screaming and howling and high pitched annoyances would soon overpower the opera and would result in a triumphant lack of music. i'm not sure why this was the norm, maybe it was because i wanted to be a petulant child, but without fail my exposure to opera would end in a laughing choir comprised of my accomplices and my mom in a rage.
over the past few years (yes it took me that long) i've realized the foolishness of this practice. i've started attending the opera and have been taken aback by the beauty and power of the music. opera is truly a unique art form, and its focus on the music and story are matched only by the spectacle that is the production. what my untrained, immature ears once heard as people screaming i now recognize as an amazing demonstration of talent, stamina, and beauty.
the production of the mikado that i am currently working on might not uphold all these high standards of opera, but the fact that a group of college students are attempting to bring to life a show with such amazing music is laudable in itself. these kids have found a way to make opera their own and are embarking on a difficult journey of presenting a beautiful and trying work, and for that i must applaud them. i only wish that i had found the beauty of opera sooner in life. and mom, if you're reading this: i'm sorry for yelling along with opera music every time you tried to get me to listen to it.
my sophomore year of college i decided to branch out. i needed a break between all the intensive science classes i was taking (organic chemistry, electronics and magnetism with calculus, calculus 4...) and so i enrolled in "introduction to irish literature." i don't think i ever had considered irish literature as a genre before this class, but i remember reading yeats in high school. and then of course there was portrait.
there are always those books you have to read in high school, like a tale of two cities and 1984. like most american high schoolers, i read the obligatory hemingway and homer's the odyssey plus a few choice poems and short stories along the way. but my senior year of high school, we expanded into more international territories and read kafka and dostoevsky and camus. and then there was jimmy. and by that of course i mean james joyce. my first exposure to joyce was his strange but marvelously symbolic "the sisters." as someone who doesn't generally enjoy short stories, i was lukewarm about my joyce experience. but then we were given the assignment to read the first section of joyce's a portrait of the artist as a young man.
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo...
His father told him that story: his father looked at him through a glass: he had a hairy face.
He was baby tuckoo. The moocow came down the road where Betty Byrne lived: she sold lemon platt.
i remember reading this passage and being struck by two things: 1. the style of this work was unlike anything i'd ever read. 2. moocow is a brilliant word. joyce had me hooked from the beginning. the stream of consciousness writing draws you into his unique and visionary world. the incredible opening for this work encompasses the curiosity and wonder of the young boy about whom he writes. the sensation of feeling, the simplicity of language, the use of words like "tuckoo" and "nicens" all accentuate the raw childhood of the central character (or artist, if you will). i voraciously finished this novel and loved (almost - there is that section with the very long church mass) every minute of it. i recall being one of two people in my high school class who proudly declared she loved joyce. i was so inspired by portrait that i composed my senior thesis on the telemachai, or first three chapters, of joyce's ulysses.
although my love of joyce was mostly closeted, i jumped at a chance to enroll in a class on irish literature in college, with the hopes of being reunited with my literary inspiration once again. my introduction to irish literature class didn't really accomplish this. but it did give me fuel for my intellectual fire... and introduced me to other great irish novelists and poets. but that is for another time and place. for now, i just want to tell you artists and creators out there - if you haven't already read joyce's portrait, please do yourself a favor and get a copy of this work. it will inspire you. and if nothing else, then you can at least read all about the moocows.
while i was enjoying my sushi dinner on saturday, a few friends and i broke into a case of magic hat. as i popped open my second beer of the night, i checked under the bottle cap for a random piece of wisdom (note: if you do not read your bottle caps when drinking magic hat, you are missing out) and there it was staring right at me:
Find Salvation through acts of Creation
i know, i know. this can't be real. but it is! magic hat brewery must be a follower of my blog! ok seriously, how cool is this? my beer was actually telling me to discover meaning through creating something! so i started thinking... what have i actually created recently?
i am currently working as a freelance sound designer in philadelphia and have opened two shows in the past month. i acted as an assistant designer for a show at a bigger company and then designed another show for a smaller production. i think one of the reasons i found sound design so gratifying is because it is (in my opinion) the most versatile design in a theatrical production. people always assume there will be a set. costumes and props are integral but often overlooked. without lights, you would not be able to see what is going on. but sound, sound is something that is never anticipated by the audience. furthermore, sound is one of the elements of a show that can be incredibly influential in the overall experience. it is hard to make it look like it is raining onstage, but if you have a really great sound cue that places you in the middle of a thunderstorm, then it establishes setting more than anything else.
perhaps this explains why i have a hunger to sound design difficult projects. when scripts dictate sound design to me, i find it boring and unfulfilling. but when i read a script and hear something in my head and just know it has to be right... well, that is what i am inspired by. you can allude to the fact that you are in a swamp in a play, but what if you are surrounded by bugs buzzing and birds chirping and water splashing? then you know it! in my own little way, then, maybe i do find some salvation through creating sound effects. i'm sure that i will write many more postings about theatre; even right now, i'm immersed in assisting with a student production at my alma mater.
there is something truly magnificent about bringing a stage play to life and sometimes it is easy to forget that. so thank you, magic hat, for pointing out the poignancy of theatre.
tonight i had dinner from my favorite sushi place in philadelphia, vic's sushi bar, a cozy little sushi place in rittenhouse square. introduced to this place by my friend, it's become a staple of my weekly diet. tucked between a parking garage and a comedy club, vic's is tiny but has something which i've found at few restaurants: a comfortable atmosphere, friendly management that remembers your name (a warning - if you go with me they will know who i am. and call me by my first name), and beautiful presentation.
the first time i had sushi from vic's i was amazed by the beauty of the dish presented to me. i was also a little surprised, i mean it was something that i was just about to eat and i felt like i was destroying this piece of artwork that was just given to me. but then i realized something important. vic uses his talents (making scrumptious sushi) to create something memorable and beautiful. he is proud of every single plate of food that comes out of his restaurant. and that makes it all worthwhile.
in a way i am a little jealous of vic. he knows his talents. he's found a way to use them. and, perhaps more importantly, he's found a way to use his talents to make other people happy. i'm not quite sure if we can all be so lucky, but i sure hope we can.
my new years resolution was to read more books, so i asked my friends to give me a list of their favorite works. if they were so willing, i asked them to lend me a book or two. while i still have a good pile of works left, i am currently sprinting through junot diaz's brilliantly written drown. i am not usually a fan of short stories, but i have become fully invested in this incredible work. diaz's language is so lively, so pure, and so fresh that until recently i was under the impression that his stories was purely biographical.
the world of diaz is so complete that it makes me wonder, where is the line between fiction and non-fiction. can a person imagine an experience so fully that it becomes real? there are times in my life when i've so perfectly remembered a situation, a conversation, a feeling but have been corrected or questioned by a person experiencing that instance with me. only then do i realize my own folly and reconsider the reality of what actually occurred. do i consciously (do we all consciously) attempt to create a world of our own that is favorable or more intense than the one we actually experience?
i think that maybe one of the reasons i have such a strong love of literature is because it is transformative. it takes us to new places, helps us experience new things, or simply gives us a unique perspective on an event that seems all to familiar. in a sense, it helps us shape and define our own experience and our own world. i urge you to check out diaz's work (it must be good, the pulitzer went to his new novel), it might even fool you into entering his imagined world.
my epic quest to see avenue q started in 2004. i'd heard of it before then but was so wrapped up in my freshman year of college that i never thought i'd make it to new york to see it. but then i switched majors (biochemistry to english) and became much more involved in theatre (2 shows a year to 6). and it just seemed right. i was supposed to go with a friend and it fell through a few times. my junior year of college i bought a ticket through my college house to go on a group trip but that fell through as well. whenever i went to new york there was always something else that seemed more pressing to see or i was just too busy (or too poor) to see a show. so last weekend when i was in new york and had nothing else to do besides relax and the option to see avenue q arose, i jumped at the opportunity.
we jumped on the subway (going into manhattan from brooklyn just seemed too perfect), threw our names in the lottery, made a few friends in line, and magically won front row seats. as i sat there enjoying a show that had been on my mind for 5 years, i began to wonder what one actually does with a ba in english. i know lots of people who, like me, have this "useless degree" and they are doing all kinds of things - working in publishing, teaching 7th grade literature, actress, journalist, salesperson - the list goes on and on. what draws us to english in the first place? why is it one of the most popular majors at liberal arts universities?
my guess (and this is speaking mostly from experience) is that english as a discipline feeds a part of ones' intellectual curiosity in a way that few other fields can do. english majors are asked to read and think, interpret and re-examine, question and explain. we can approach something like joyce's ulysses and discuss its relationship to homer's original work or we can find the social ramifications of cross-dressing in a shakespearean comedy. english programs (or at least good english programs) do not want specific answers, they want many answers to the same question and they draw creative people whose quest for understanding far exceeds their own desire to be "right." english majors make new contributions to the intellectual world every day, whether it is translating a little-discussed medieval work, giving us insight into a long gone culture, or proofreading some major celebrity's memoir, which will encourage thousands to read. we english majors take the skills we've gained from reading countless works of fiction, drama, poetry, and nonfiction and apply it to all sorts of random professions.
so i guess this whole post is an attempt to answer the question that is posed at the beginning of avenue q, what does one do with a ba in english? the answer is elusive, like almost anything within the discipline of english. or maybe it is just this simple: whatever you make of it. i for one hope to give back to the world of academia. but we need people who think critically in all arenas of life and contribute positively and that, princeton from avenue q, is what we do.
when i was a young child, my favorite book was matilda by roald dahl. this work held so much significance that even today i have two copies of it in my apartment, one of which is always by my bed. i remember reading it over and over again, first with my mother and then by myself. why did this book have such an important part in my development as a child? surely, it wasn't because i felt connected to matilda in a situational sense. i was not a forgotten child brought up by parents who had no respect for education. quite the opposite. i was even given many educational opportunities and was sent to the best schools. when then did i find dahl's story of the child whose intelligence vastly overshadowed her parents' own intellect so compelling?
looking back, it must have been because matilda had a special power. she was capable of using her mind to create beautiful and meaningful situations. sure, her first use of her special power was to get back at the trunchbull or her mean parents, but over time she came to use this magical aura to help others and further herself. her mind, her intellect, her curiosity, these things set her apart from all others. and she was able to use her own talents to create these fantastic situations to benefit herself or her beloved icon miss honey.
this work still stays with me today. i read it when i'm intellectually exhausted, when i can't sleep, or when i need to be reminded of the power of creative thinking. matilda's world and thoughts still ring true to me. she had a special gift to establish herself with (albeit magical and unrealistic) powers. i think that is what i strive to do every day. to find a way to create something beautiful with my mind. to use intellectual pursuits in a way that enhances the world and daily experience. i guess in a small way, that is what i hope this blog will do. it will provide a venue for me to discuss my attempts at creating something beautiful; it will describe my quest to sculpt a meaningful creation; it will recognize beauty and creation and show my attempts to contribute my own sort of substantial stamp on the world.
i hope that you find this a meaningful pursuit and contribute your own takes on what beauty and creation are. either way, i will continue on this quest and hopefully provide something worthwhile in the end.
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