bend that knee

the past 10 weeks of my life have been occupied with physical health. about 10 weeks ago, i had acl repair on my right knee and since then i've been trying desperately to be back in shape. you see, after not playing competitive soccer for 5 years, i decided to join a league in philly and during my first indoor soccer game in 7 years i tore my acl. it stunk. really. i heard the pop and felt my leg give out from under me and all i could think was "really? after all these years something THIS stupid happens?"

well, needless to say i've since had surgery and have been on the road to recovery. it's been slow and painful but theoretically i will be able to start running again in 4 weeks. i think that the reason this recovery has been so slow is because i feel incapacitated as a person. i'm one of those people who likes doing things for herself, who doesn't want others to help with simple things. i suppose, then, in a way surgery has been a humbling experience. it's reminded me that everyone needs a little help sometimes and that's ok.

i mentioned in my previous post how as a sound designer i often seek the help of others (and thanks RB for the shout out in her article. findingdulcinea.com is a great source and hey, it quotes yours truly!). but for some reason, it doesn't come naturally for me to seek help when it comes to physicality. i think it's because i've always depended on myself to be able to do physical tasks, be it running, carrying a fellow soccer player down the field during sprints (yes, we had to do that in high school), or ripping apart platforms with my bare hands. i've prided myself on my small size yet surprising strength and for once in my life i wasn't able to get out of bed to use the bathroom by myself. how degrading! but really, it wasn't. it was just a wake-up call to appreciate the body we've got and to be thankful for all its working parts.

now that i basically have the part-time job of going to physical therapy, i truly appreciate the beauty that is my knee. it bends, it supports weight, it allows me to turn really fast. although i have vowed never to play soccer again (the injury is just too much to think about coming back from... but who knows, i've been playing soccer on and off for almost 20 years it might be hard to quit), i know that after my recovery from surgery is complete i will not take the workings of my body for granted. it's a pretty amazing thing, a working body, and we better appreciate it while we still have one in good shape.