start spreading the news...

ok ok. i know. i've been negligent. i'm sorry. i'm trying to get my life in order. a big move is coming. yes, i'm finally going to do it. i'm going to the city. yes THAT city. new york, new york. the city that is so cool it has the same name as a state. it basically IS the state. i mean come on, when you ask someone from anywhere else in new york "where are you from?" they always answer "buffalo" or "albany" or "long island." but if you're from manhattan or another borough you always get the same answer "new york." well, unless you are talking to someone who is proud of living in brooklyn or queens or the bronx... but anyway, you get my point.

i've been spending a lot of time in new york lately. i've been doing the long distance thing, traveling back and forth every other weekend or so. it's been good, being able to not only consistently get out of philly and see my friends who live elsewhere (in addition to spending time with the person i love), but to also acclimate myself to my soon to be new home.

this past weekend i attended a screening of "here and there" at the tribeca film festival. i would highly recommend it, it is a charming love story (kind of) and snapshot into a random group of people's lives. the film also compares cultures and tradition, subtly discusses the importance of family, and intricately examines people's desires and motivations. following the film, the director answered questions about his own artwork and his personal motivations in directing and writing such a film. it was interesting to hear the creative mastermind of the work explain his intentions. perhaps as interesting were people's interactions with the director. he was automatically viewed as an authority on filmmaking, his own film, and anything having to do with the film's subject matter. it's intriguing, i think, that artists are considered the experts on their craft. that point of view has always made me uncomfortable as a designer simply because i don't think i'm an expert - i'm just someone who has tried to express herself creatively and contribute to a greater work.

maybe this whole idea of authority on artistry is part of becoming a better and more established artist. but i would also like to think that it's not possible to master one's craft. artistic creation is about expression, and it is so rare that we wish to express ourselves in the same way over and over again. maybe an artistic expert is one who takes learning seriously and tries to masters smaller skills of expression. either way, i look forward to the future where i'll be able to live in new york and encounter more and more artists (and experts).

springtime

yesterday was a beautiful day. sunny, 75, basically perfect. i spent the day outside reading and watching people in rittenhouse square. so many babies and puppies! i found myself happier about life and about the world in general during this "me time" and i started to think, the weather really does impact the way a person feels.

this, of course, isn't new information. a study five years ago said that spending time in nice weather can work towards "improving mood, memory and broadening cognitive style " (for the complete article go here). i think we aren't built to spend our days indoors, looking at concrete and fluorescent lights. one of the hardest things about being in tech for a show is not seeing the sun. during long days, you enter the theatre just a few hours into the day and you leave well after the sun has set. it messes up your internal clock, you forget what day it is, and generally you just feel tired and less happy.

that's why it's so important for us to spend time outside. breathing fresh air and getting sunlight doesn't just improve mood but it also reminds you that there, to quote avenue q, is life outside your apartment. what's more, it connects you to the greater world. there are people around you when you are outside who, while living their own lives, interact with you through their eyes, their smiles, their laughs. it's pretty cool to be a part of this larger society. so next time it is nice and sunny outside, go for a walk or take that work and sit on a bench. it'll be one of the best things you can do for yourself.

brush up your shakespeare

i have a confession to make. i don't really like shakespeare. this has been a difficult truth in my life, because not only do i "do theatre" as a profession, but i also was an english major in college and have always felt like i should appreciate the bard better. but for some reason, i never did. i felt alienated from his plays by his language, and was so distracted by the fact that he "borrowed" all his material that i never really appreciated the plays for what they were. this has been a difficulty in my line of work/ study but i've borne it so far and i've done alright with it.

then something happened. last weekend i saw hamlet at the lantern. this production stars the ingenious geoff sobelle as hamlet and really blew me away. in my new attempt to appreciate acting more and focus on tech less, i went into the show promising to pay attention to the story and the play and not the production value (which, by the way, was fantastic). geoff made this easy. as a physical actor, geoff is the best i've ever seen. his body motions are like the flow of water - natural, fluid, and unpredictable but always smooth. and the way he delivered his shakespeare was really unlike anything i've ever experienced. i FORGOT that i was watching shakespeare when geoff delivered his monologues. the words rolled off his tongue in the most conversational and natural way. this renaissance play that i never really felt connected to became a work that i could relate to. and it was mostly because of geoff's acting.

i wonder if a lot of people feel the way that i do about shakespeare - that it is old, alien, and kind of boring. his story lines are all very similar (just read the compleat works of wllm shkspr (abridged) and you'll see what i mean - they compress all his comedies into one story) and his tragedies almost predictably end with disastrous death. but perhaps all that i needed (and what others who may question the bard's authority on theatre need) was for someone to breathe some fresh air into a 400 year old play. i think this is one of the most important aspects of performance art - it really brings old works to life in a way that makes them understandable and personally important. this may seem like an unimportant task when people are faced with a massive recession, home foreclosures, and unemployment but i think it's crucial to be reminded of the past and how people have worked through difficult times. more importantly, arts are an escape from our own lives. shakespeare might not be what i would use to escape reality, but it is what a lot of other people use. and quality productions of theatre that transport you to a different place and a different time where you can ponder issues others than what might be confronting you right now are invaluable.

all this is to say, i feel a little ashamed that in ever really appreciated shakespeare. but now that i've seen such an incredible performance of hamlet, i get what the fuss is about. and hey, maybe this means that i'll finally appreciate that yale book award i won in high school (which just happened to be the complete works of william shakespeare).

the techie's dilemma

last weekend i was in new york and i happened to see christopher durang's new piece why torture is wrong and the people who love them. don't ask me about the title, it still doesn't make sense after seeing the show. while the show itself left me feeling a little lackluster (the story felt a bit spotty but the set was really cool... i mean it SPUN which is always awesome), i left the theatre feeling pretty good. why is that? well i was standing in the lobby minding my own business when philip seymour hoffman walks in.

i'm not the kind of person who usually gets starstruck but i was agog. philip seymour hoffman was standing 10 feet away from me! i could have done like 3 lunges and walked into him (yes, i'm working on doing lunges now at physical therapy)! sure, i haven't seen a lot of his work but he is generally considered one of the best character actors of our time.

i was confused... why was i so speechless when i saw him? i'm not even his "biggest fan" or what people generally say when they meet a celebrity who they are dying to speak to. i think it's because i have a lot of respect for his since he takes his craft seriously. mr. hoffman is a fantastic actor who really engages in his roles and takes on difficult characters. any man who can play truman capote convincingly and then a priest of questionable morals as convincingly deserves some credit. i think quality acting is often taken for granted. i am as guilty of this as the next person, especially because i usually see theatre and dissect the production aspects. the number of times when i question a lighting shift, a sound cue, or a technical decision are innumerable. but how often do i actually consider the potency of good acting? probably not enough.

you see, i recently saw gypsy on broadway (twice). and while i was watching it i was so amazed by the orchestra and their awesome disappearing act and the beautiful orchestrations and sound design that i missed part of the show. i was lucky enough to see it a second time and realize something. the big 3 (patti lupone, boyd gaines, and laura benanti) are fantastic actors. ms. lupone got all the credit but ms. benanti was phenomenal. i remember speaking about the show afterwards and thinking that she couldn't have been that good because her character wasn't memorable. but then her character isn't SUPPOSED to be memorable! she is supposed to be the forgotten sister who emerges out of nowhere to become a world-famous stripper. and someone of ms. benanti's acting caliber and repute must work really hard to be unnoticed for the vast majority of the show.

maybe this is a long-standing problem of techies. we focus so much on the production aspects of the show that we forget to applaud the actors. we are the forgotten few, the people behind the scenes who make things happen and many people don't quite even know what to attribute to whom. but there is really no substitute for good acting. so do yourself a favor, techies, forget the set and the costume and the lights and the sound sometimes and enjoy the show. because without a good actor, really you got nothing.

p.s. another perk of why torture is wrong... laura benanti is in it!

bend that knee

the past 10 weeks of my life have been occupied with physical health. about 10 weeks ago, i had acl repair on my right knee and since then i've been trying desperately to be back in shape. you see, after not playing competitive soccer for 5 years, i decided to join a league in philly and during my first indoor soccer game in 7 years i tore my acl. it stunk. really. i heard the pop and felt my leg give out from under me and all i could think was "really? after all these years something THIS stupid happens?"

well, needless to say i've since had surgery and have been on the road to recovery. it's been slow and painful but theoretically i will be able to start running again in 4 weeks. i think that the reason this recovery has been so slow is because i feel incapacitated as a person. i'm one of those people who likes doing things for herself, who doesn't want others to help with simple things. i suppose, then, in a way surgery has been a humbling experience. it's reminded me that everyone needs a little help sometimes and that's ok.

i mentioned in my previous post how as a sound designer i often seek the help of others (and thanks RB for the shout out in her article. findingdulcinea.com is a great source and hey, it quotes yours truly!). but for some reason, it doesn't come naturally for me to seek help when it comes to physicality. i think it's because i've always depended on myself to be able to do physical tasks, be it running, carrying a fellow soccer player down the field during sprints (yes, we had to do that in high school), or ripping apart platforms with my bare hands. i've prided myself on my small size yet surprising strength and for once in my life i wasn't able to get out of bed to use the bathroom by myself. how degrading! but really, it wasn't. it was just a wake-up call to appreciate the body we've got and to be thankful for all its working parts.

now that i basically have the part-time job of going to physical therapy, i truly appreciate the beauty that is my knee. it bends, it supports weight, it allows me to turn really fast. although i have vowed never to play soccer again (the injury is just too much to think about coming back from... but who knows, i've been playing soccer on and off for almost 20 years it might be hard to quit), i know that after my recovery from surgery is complete i will not take the workings of my body for granted. it's a pretty amazing thing, a working body, and we better appreciate it while we still have one in good shape.

sound mentors

as i've mentioned before, sound design is my forte when it comes to theatrical productions. i find it to be such an expressive medium, especially because created sound is such an integral part of any show. the problem with this chosen occupation, however, is that you are constantly living the life of a freelancer. bouncing from gig to gig can get really tiring and frustrating and trying to make enough for rent and food is always stressful. this has been true over the past few years, but is more true these days with the recession.

the first thing (or among the first things... besides banks of course) to go in a recession are the arts. when disposable income decreases, people stop donating money to the "entertainment" industry. of course, i don't view the arts as disposable or simply for entertainment. theatre, for example, is one of the most poignant ways to examine culture and discuss difficult issues. but in this time of economic crisis, gigs are harder to come by and theatre companies are constantly downsizing.

a perfect example of this is a show i am currently designing for the summer. because of decreased support from individuals and grant-giving organizations, budgets are much smaller than normal. i, like other designers, am expected to create a design with the appropriate equipment for a full-scale musical on a budget that might be enough to rent the cabling alone necessary for such a big project. but theatre is a community based endeavor. luckily, i have good resources and friendly colleagues who are willing to spend hours on the phone (or in person) with me discussing possible options for making my design work. they give me practical advice and offer me assistant positions that build up my repetoire (and resume) as a designer. i have never considered myself particularly good at networking, but in the current economic climate, when arts are constantly in danger of being sacrificed, it is necessary to band togetheer with other artists to save your craft. these more experienced, better-connected designers and colleagues are what makes it possible for younger artists like me to make an impact and to show off my talents. they open the door for opportunities while simultaeously providing valuable support and endless encouragement.

it is impossible to be an artist without a community, and these people truly make my position in the theatre community one that i am honored to hold. without their help i seriously doubt that i'd be able to continue existing as a sound designer. their endless advice and encouraging wisdom make theatre an exciting place to be.

the exodus

today i went passover shopping. it's a little bit early, but i've always been the kind of person who constantly reminds herself to go get the matzah and then realizes the day before passover that all i have in my apartment is pasta. so i did it early year. and man, was it a success. i am stocked up! i have enough matzah and macaroons to last me and some visitors at least the 8 days i am required to change my entire diet.

although i rarely admit it, i think of the passover diet as kind of an imposition. first, i can't eat bread. considering that my diet usually is comprised of sandwiches, pita and hummus, or bagels, this is a big problem. then, i have to clean my entire kitchen which is also a hassle. the random mouse traps that have been set up for a defense system need to be removed, the various cooking implements spattering my counter top need to be removed, and all the crumbs need to picked up (no, i never got that vacuum cleaner in my hallway to work).

however, i tough it through these sacrifices and usually find myself immersed in the "spirit of passover" within a few short days. i'm not sure quite how to describe what this actually means, but i'll attempt it. see, to me, passover is about recognizing the importance of tradition. it's about looking to the past while simultaneously anticipating the future and realizing that one's life is not in isolation. instead, it is a part of a long-standing tradition. and future generations will maintain those traditions and their belief that they can better the world. we all make sacrifices to maintain traditions, be they as small as supporting a sports team because all of your family went to a specific institution or not eating pasta because over 2000 years ago a group of people supposedly survived living in the desert. we expect that past generations made similar sacrifices and we hope to pass on the traditions so that future generations do the same.

i find that it is truly remarkable that some traditions can exist for so long. images and accounts remain of seders all throughout time, from jesus's last supper to hidden seders during the holocaust. in this world of isolation, where everyone is concerned with supporting themselves, i think it's important to cling to these traditions and remember that we are part of something greater. this is the message of passover to me, a message of continuity and companionship, history and familial ties. it's a message that makes all the sacrifices worthwhile and ultimately helps giving meaning to my own life. and i think there is a specific sort of beauty in relating to a group of people who are all hoping for the same thing: a world without prejudice, a world that celebrates humanity, and a world where hunger does not exist. so to everyone who is preparing for passover, chag sameach and enjoy the matzah. to everyone else, i hope you are finding meaningful traditions and connections that help you define your own life.